ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A GIRL WHO HAD UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF THEIR DOG…

I want to take you back…way way back to a story that is hard for me to tell but I feel looking back had a HUGE impact on my life and is the reason I am where I am today.

A time where I didn't know the things I do now.

A time where I didn’t understand dogs as well as I thought I did.

This could be a long one but I really do feel you may resonate with me so I encourage you to bear with me.

I’ve always had a keen interest in working with and teaching dogs. I remember a family member writing a personal statement about me in early primary school years and it went something like “ you know when Louise walks into the room as all the dogs' tails start wagging faster”. 

I was the kid that was on the floor as that’s where the dogs were. 

I was never happier than being outside with them, teaching them tricks, agility, going to classes a couple of times a week. However this was the early 2000’s things were VERY different. The world of dogs has moved on a lot in 20 years. 

I grew up,met my partner, we went travelling, we lived

a very fluid lifestyle that took me where it took

me. I met dogs (and many other animals) along the way. Our last family dog Meg had long since passed so when we decided to settle it was time for my FIRST dog as an adult. On arriving home from Australia I definitely had a canine shaped hole in my heart!

Life didn’t feel quite right without a dog in my life.

So the search began!

Enter Callie!

A rambunctious, fun loving, super smart German Shepherd Cross!

Around a year old with no real history known!

I was told things that the rescue knew about her having assessed her.

One of those things was dog reactivity, I thought that's alright. I have a keen interest in training and I think I can help.

I had also shared my life with a dog who felt the same way before and she’d had a phenomenal life with us.

In the house Callie was AMAZING she would snuggle into you! Absolutely LOVED learning we taught a tonne of tricks, scent work and she loved playing!

The reality though outside the house I was beyond overwhelmed and so was Callie!

She could do all this “stuff “ at home but as soon as we stepped over that threshold she wasn’t with me at all!

Her mind was focused on coping with the HUGE amount of dogs that lived where we did. 

We rarely made it out the street without a massive reaction!

I was exhausted and Callie just couldn't cope!

This was now starting to affect other areas of her life, my life and the life of my family who we lived with. 

I didn’t know where to turn or how to get help. 

So I made the decision to start walking her at 3am. 

Every morning we would get up, head out and hope that we wouldn’t see another soul.

She was miserable…I was miserable.

She had been with us around 4 months at this point. 

I just couldn’t understand why I didn’t have a “normal” dog!

I’d watch people out with their dogs walking in the street, sitting in cafes, playing on the beach.

I WANTED THAT TOO!

I was pining over the life I wanted to live with my dog and I was deeply saddened for her that she felt this way about the world. 

I really was lost on where to turn and at this point I was getting much more feedback from family members about how it was affecting them and their concern for me and for Callie too!

It all got too much.

With no clear avenue of support (it wasn’t as easy to access then) the heartbreaking decision was made to find her a more suitable forever home.

This was something I personally really struggled with when I brought her home I had committed to forever!

We’ve always had our dogs from the beginning till taking their final breaths.

How could I do this to her?

I felt like I'd completely let her down.

I’d let myself down.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

Even writing this now nearly 8 years later my heart hurts.

I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I'm in the car again with all her stuff taking her back, handing over the lead and saying goodbye.

Genuinely one of the hardest moments of my life.

As much as it still hurts to this day Callie taught me so so much!

She taught me more than I could have ever asked of her to teach me.

You see EVERY dog that enters your life is here to teach you something though you may not realise it in the moment.

I wish I could meet her again!

Meet her in the place that I am now with the knowledge that I have.

Could I have helped her?

Would she have been able to stay?

I unfortunately will never have answers to those questions.

But I have met many of me’s in that moment and many of Callies over the last 7 years working with humans and their dogs.

I had such high expectations of us both.

I had hopes, I had dreams for her and for me.

I often think about what I could have done differently to support her and me.

It wasn’t what I expected.

I imagined it differently.

That’s not Callie's fault or mine.

You see, the world tells us our dogs and our lives with them should fit a certain mold.

It’s just not the case. 

If Callie had been happy in our garden I would never have walked her again.

If secure fields existed I would have just taken her there.

If reactive dog classes were a thing I would have tried that. 

I would have done anything to make sure she was happy! Stuff what society told me I should be doing!

What didn’t work for us was what is considered the “norm”

Walking my dog several times a day - Even though she was overwhelmed!

Taking her to public spaces - Even though she would have hated that!

Putting equipment on her so she couldn’t pull me - Even though she was pulling because she was emotionally struggling!

Getting her OVER IT by introducing her to every dog we came across!

There’s no right or wrong way to live life with your dog.

My expectations and ideas about what life with dogs SHOULD be like made me think I'd totally messed up.

It really could have gone either way. I may never have brought another dog into my life. Thankfully though I flung myself into education.

We always say you know your dog best in the whole world. Do what you feel is right, not what is expected for you to do.

That absolutely does NOT mean we don’t help them and that things can’t change.

If there's a struggle on the human or canine end of the lead we always have options especially now. 

What we need to be mindful of is what we are expecting of them and us?

Every dog and human partnership is unique.

There is only ONE of YOU and ONE of YOUR DOG!

So here's some tips for managing your expectations…

If your dog doesn’t like something that's OK - Find something else you love doing together for now or get support if it’s something you are able to commit to helping them with.If your dog doesn’t know something TEACH them - Approaching this step from your dog's perspective and not yours can really help you step into that teacher role and view things from your canine students perspective

If you’re feeling overwhelmed - Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on your dog and the present moment. This simple exercise can calm your nerves and enhance your focus. If you’re not in the right head space things aren’t going to work out how you’d like.

If you make mistakes - We all make them! That's how we learn and grow! Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities. Stay positive, adjust your approach, and move on. Don't let frustration derail your progress. 

Be Present - Put the phone away (unless you’re videoing your training session)! If you want your dog to commit to working with you, you first have to commit to being with them right here…right now…in this moment!

Celebrate ALL the wins!! - NOT just the big ones! Those little wins really do add up ! Even tiny wins keep motivation high and create a positive learning environment. Did your dog finally master "down"? Celebrate! 

Did you leave your dinner on the table and your dog didn’t touch it? Celebrate!! Did your dog not lunge at that one dog? Celebrate!

You really will start to see them add up if you acknowledge all of them!

I'm now able to see the lessons that Callie taught me and will be forever grateful that I have learned from those and been able to help other people and their dogs with those lessons too!

Life with our dogs gets to look like however works for them and us.

Stay in the NOW!

Be grateful for those Canine teachers and ask yourself what are they here to teach me?